A Gentleman Does Not Motor About After Dark

 

Finding motorcycle related events in the midst of one of this areas nastiest winters in recent history is hard (to say the least,) so imagine how excited I am to be invited to the 21^st annual Joseph Lucas Memorial Push next weekend in ‘Old Fort York’ (aka Toronto.) Now I've been told you don’t actually have to be invited, you just have to know it’s happening and show up, but I prefer to think I’m special and got invited.

The “Lucas Push” is the brain child event of the Old Fort York section of the CVMG (Canadian Vintage Motorcycle Group) where a robust group gathers to push a motorcycle equipped with Lucas parts (as the story goes -  all motorcycles equipped with Lucas parts end up being pushed) from pub to pub, after dark, in the midst of winter. Poor Mr. Lucas and his company, the brunt of so many jokes – what, with having been accredited with such things as the world’s first self-dimming head lamps and other shoddily manufactured parts. I might have been reluctant to poke fun at the man if I hadn’t fell upon this post quoting an article written by Joseph Lucas himself in which he clearly demonstrated his British sense of humor and ability to take the criticism in stride.

“Positive ground depends on proper circuit functioning, which is the transmission of negative ions by retention of the visible spectral manifestation known as "smoke". Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it stops working. This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing. For example, if one places a copper bar across the terminals of a battery, prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery shortly ceases to function. In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical component such as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will also be observed that the component no longer functions. The logic is elementary and inescapable!
The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to another. When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the system, nothing works afterward.
Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some time largely because they consumed large quantities of smoke, requiring very unsightly large wires.
It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American counterparts. Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, and all things British leak. British engines leak oil, British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and disk brake systems leak fluid, British tires leak air and British Intelligence leaks national defence secrets. Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke. Once again, the logic is clear and inescapable.
In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical components - especially British units manufactured by Joseph Lucas, Ltd.

"A gentleman does not motor about after dark."”
Joseph Lucas (1842 - 1903)

The last jokes on the nay-sayers, as the Lucas Company is now a thriving multinational company laughing their way to the bank and smiling as vintage 'restorationists' scour the world looking for those genuine (malfunctioning, smoke loosing) Lucas parts!

Not being a vintage motorcycle enthusiast, though I like to admire them, and definitely not being a restoration mechanic … if I hadn’t been invited I’d never have heard of Joseph Lucas. Mr. Lucas they won’t be motoring, they’ll be pushing, after all, I expect they are all gentlemen (and ladies of course.)

I’ve learned a bit this weekend and I’ll keep you posted.