Finding motorcycle related events in the midst of one of
this areas nastiest winters in recent history is hard (to say the least,) so
imagine how excited I am to be invited to the 21st annual Joseph
Lucas Memorial Push next weekend in ‘Old Fort York’ (aka Toronto.) Now I've been
told you don’t actually have to be invited, you just have to know it’s
happening and show up, but I prefer to think I’m special and got invited.
The “Lucas Push” is the brain child event of the Old Fort
York section of the CVMG (Canadian Vintage Motorcycle Group) where a robust group
gathers to push a motorcycle equipped with Lucas parts (as the story goes - all motorcycles equipped with Lucas parts end
up being pushed) from pub to pub, after dark, in the midst of winter. Poor Mr.
Lucas and his company, the brunt of so many jokes – what, with having been
accredited with such things as the world’s first self-dimming head lamps and
other shoddily manufactured parts. I might have been reluctant to poke fun at the
man if I hadn’t fell upon this post quoting an article written by Joseph Lucas himself in which
he clearly demonstrated his British sense of humor and ability to take the criticism
in stride.
“Positive ground depends on
proper circuit functioning, which is the transmission of negative ions by
retention of the visible spectral manifestation known as "smoke".
Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know this to be true
because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it stops
working. This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing. For example,
if one places a copper bar across the terminals of a battery, prodigious
quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery shortly ceases to function.
In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical component such
as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will also be observed that the component no
longer functions. The logic is elementary and inescapable!
The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to
another. When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the
system, nothing works afterward.
Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some time
largely because they consumed large quantities of
smoke, requiring very unsightly large wires.
It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more prone
to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American counterparts.
Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, and all things British
leak. British engines leak oil, British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and
disk brake systems leak fluid, British tires leak air and British Intelligence
leaks national defence secrets. Therefore, it follows that British electrical
systems must leak smoke. Once again, the logic is clear and inescapable.
In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the
form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical
components - especially British units manufactured by Joseph Lucas, Ltd.
"A gentleman does not motor about after dark."”
Joseph Lucas (1842 - 1903)
The last jokes on the nay-sayers, as the Lucas Company is
now a thriving multinational company laughing their way to the bank and smiling
as vintage 'restorationists' scour the world looking for those genuine (malfunctioning,
smoke loosing) Lucas parts!
Not being a vintage motorcycle enthusiast, though I like to
admire them, and definitely not being a restoration mechanic … if I hadn’t been
invited I’d never have heard of Joseph Lucas. Mr. Lucas they won’t be motoring,
they’ll be pushing, after all, I expect they are all gentlemen (and ladies of
course.)
I’ve learned a bit this weekend and I’ll keep you posted.
